Needing new dreams...

I am sorry first of all...to all of you...this will be a depressing post.   IF you are low right now...just read another day.   I dont want to make anyone more depressed...but this is stuff I have to get out.

As I have already stated, love and I are not close friends.   Yet before anyone gets the wrong ideas...I am still a helpless romantic...the princess who longs to have her prince come ridding in and rescue her...and tend to her ailing health.  For a time I have known that.   That time has parted...may haps I will see it again.

Secondly, my health has waned...tis not as bad as this summer, true.   But winter is normally my best time.  When I have stronger energy and can come closer to tackling the world.   I had that...for a month and a half after the weather cooled, but now tis back to maybe one good day a week.   At least my back is not "killing" me with pain...I am just well...sore all over...for no good reason.

Thirdly, as many of you know...my dream in life was to start up safe houses and clubs for the youth and to live in one of the safe houses.   Realitly has set in.   My health will never permit me to live in a safe house or run a club.   Oversee the ministry that sponsores those who do?  Yes, run them myself no.   I just dont have the energy for that.   And that hurts, for 3 years I have longed for this...and to realize that is like a knife to the heart.

Fourthly,  I am 1000 miles away from most of my friend, and those I am close to, I still hardly get to see. 

Fifthly, I am jobless, and not for lack of trying.   I have been for 10 months, and still no luck.   It does not help any that I can only work part time, when I do get a job...due to my health.

Yeah...I am fighting with depression.   And I need some new dreams....blast it all.  LOL.

~ Traveller Gal, out!