Lay me down

I have slipped back into depression... I have been boarder line for a few months... but I have crossed over now... sigh... well life goes on whether I am depressed or no.

Lay me down the cold, cold ground, I will stand, will stand my ground. ~ We Were Soilders 

Once more I feel as if I have let some of my close friends down... I am such a mess... why do you people even care?

My life is a mess... and has been for ages...
I just hit the bottom... and GOD is now rebuilding me...
sigh... should have let HIM sooner.
I have reasons to live... sigh... I just wish life was easier

 ~ Traveller Gal, out!

Dine Bikeyah?

Yesterday was good.  The day camps ended well.  ^_^

A teacher, David Sprinkle, encouraged me to focus on ministry to the Navajo.  I might, if my health holds up, in fact I would love that.  Right now it is just a big question mark, even though I did feel as if God was asking me to go to Dine Bikeyah back when I was 16.

As well, over lunch break I got to talk to Matt.  That was such a blessing.  Just talking to him helps me so much.  He is calling me on Tuesday, if something does not come up.

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Day Camps!

One day of camps.... (Legacy Day Camp).... the youth is so awesome, but their stores are hard ones.   I love this work... but it reminds me so much of what I have gone through that few know of.

My friends, if I am testy or overly questioning of you this week, please forgive me... I come home every night tired, and trying to sort out what I have learned and what these kids have gone through... and I tend to stay work mode... even here at home.

Oh, the picture is of me with a mosaic I made at the camps!

The battles...

Awake and arise oh sleeper, for the year of thy mourning has passed from thy gates!!! Arise again unto thy callings and be renewed!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do I feel like my soul is ripped in 2?  Everything comes against me at once, yet I strive to hold my ground, as a good warrior.  But I am beaten to the ground, broken and crying.  Why Lord must all these things happen?  I just do not understand!  Yet still to You do I cling... what other chance of making it is there? 

The tides turn, some of the battles lessen, while others do intensify... A warrior am I, and a warrior I will stay... Oh, Father, put some balm upon my wounds that I might carry on!

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Traveller Gal

PEACE....
now that is a word that use to be so easy for me to explain.  Life was good.  I knew where I belonged in those days.  Well, at least in terms of at my church.... took me years to find out I belonged reaching out the the youth. 



UN-REST....
oh, my soul is restless...
I know it now.  I have the wandering, restless spirit so well known among the Irish missionaries of old.  I knew that by this time I would be perparing to leave home.... I knew that when I was 16/17.  Sometimes I wish I would listen to myself.  LOL.  I know myself better that I think.  Oh, how I long to wander the open lands and go where the Spirit leads.  Who know where HE will lead me with my work?

PAINED....
THe sorrow and losses of the past year have left bitter scars.  The unwise choices, the bitter wounds, and the lessons learned.  I may not be strong yet, but I am stronger from this time.

ACTION...
With all said, I am starting real packing as of today, that I might be able to give away what I no longer need or can keep.  My time here in Kansas is over.  From this time on, I am only a visitor.  I have loved living and growing up here, but such days are over.  'Tis time to finish the studying I began when I was 7 to become a missionary.... then start working among my generation and those generations of youth yet to come.

FATHER GOD, TO YOU I COMMIT THIS LIFE!!! AMEN!!!

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Bad health...

Things are easeing a bit as I realize I have been running from the reality of my mom and grandma's bad health and the news that keeps pouring in over that.

My health is not good either, and I have been doing stuff to make it worse, and extra stress is all I need.

My friends, thank you for your prayers.  I don't know how I would go on with out your prayer support.

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Peace...

Peace at last floods my soul.  My searching heart rests at last.  Praise GOD for His mercies, for they are new every morning.  Illness comes and goes, yet I rest in the hands of He who created me. 

Who knows what the road a head holds?